


My boy crush

by Muggymigs



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, POV Kageyama Tobio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 10:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28470069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muggymigs/pseuds/Muggymigs
Summary: Kageyama decides to "visit Hinata" with Oikawa and Iwaizumi to tell Hinata the story of how he fell in love with him. Also sorry for this..... I wrote this in 2 hours so it probably sucks :)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Kudos: 7





	My boy crush

**Author's Note:**

> Don't judge me 0-0

Hey… My name is Kageyama Tobio and this is a stupid story about my totally useless boy crush. This specific day had a beautiful, blue clear sky and a warm sensation lingering through the air. I for one was never the type to fall helplessly in love with just a glance, but full fledged diving off a building would be an underestimation for how hard I fell. I was hooked into some metal music that was playing through my headphones until I caught a small glance of orange out of the corner of my eye, curiously I looked to the side. You, a shorty with orange fiery hair stood in the sunlight looking around panicking which made you look even cuter than before. I was about to walk up to you, however before I got there a tall yellow haired guy with glasses tapped you on the shoulder. I quickly raced back to where I was standing before completely and utterly embarrassed. I hid behind a pillar of concrete while “stalking,” no not stalking, maybe watching? That doesn't make it any better, does it? Heh

“No it doesn’t.”.

“I think it's kinda romantic, Iwa-chan.” 

“Well that's just because you’re super weird shittykawa.” 

Well whatever back to my story, I hid behind the pillar not creepily stalking the blonde haired guy and you the orange boy. There seemed to be something happening, the tall blonde boy was pointing in a direction and started talking. He then pulled out his phone, handed it to you, who started typing something in it. So I drew to the conclusion that the guy with glasses helped you with directions and then asked for your phone number. Which made me kinda furious at the time, however at that moment I didn’t know why I was so mad at the sight of the tall guy asking for your number. Until that first moment when I saw you, I had never felt “love” and I didn’t realize that was what I was feeling until it was too late.

The tight feeling lingered through my chest and scared me, so I tried to keep my distance from you, the cute boy, despite my feelings for you. Which I classified as “unknown feelings” at the time. I slowly walked away from you and went on with the rest of my day. No matter how many times I think about the past I always regretted that decision. Would the outcome of my life be different if I just talked to you?

“Kageyama… You shouldn’t beat yourself up for a decision.”

“Wow my Tobio-chan is so grown up, Iwa-chan are you seeing this?” 

“Damn Kawa you’re a pretty crappy guy. Why did you even tag along with us?”

“Yeah I know I’m pretty Iwa-chan and because I wanted to see Tobio-chan's first love, however we can only see this picture.”

“But I didn't say you were prett-.”

“Well I only focus on the positive remarks about myself and you still called me pretty, right?”

“Whatever… Kageyama just finished telling Hinata the story.”

Aight back to where I was…..After that day I started to unconsciously notice you at the college all the time and we weren’t even in the same classes. It's….. Just… my eyes would always trail to you in the hallways, cafeteria, and even outside the window during class. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about you and the worst part of it all was that every time I saw the orange hair pass in my vision the tall boy with glasses would always be there, next to you, talking to you. I would watch you guys outside the window every third block and I usually saw you and him lying underneath a big shady tree, talking. Sometimes I would close my eyes and imagine what it would be like to be the tall blonde guy. I would imagine all the conversations we would have under the tree and how you would laugh at the stupid jokes I would try to tell.

“Woah… you would have fantasies during class while watching them? That's kinda crazy.” Oikawa then took a step away from Kageyama.

Yeah that was the only thing keeping me from going insane, however all my fantasies ended way too soon and left me feeling empty. I wanted to get rid of this feeling that was ripping my mind and heart apart. So I decided to try and talk to you….. 

The next week I built up my confidence, but no matter how hard I searched for you, you were nowhere to be seen. After yet another 2 weeks of searching neither you nor the blonde tall guy were to be seen and I sorta got worried, really worried, worried enough to try and socialize with others to ask if they knew where you guys were.

“WAIT MY TOBIO-CHAN TALKED TO NEW PEOPLE?”

“Yes, shittykawa thats what he is saying idiot.” Iwaizumi smacked the back of Oikawa's head, “Please continue Kageyama.”

The next week when I came to school I saw some guys near the front and I heard them talking about a “Hinata Shoyo” who had orange hair. So I walked sorta slow next to them. They were talking about how they were lucky that the “gays” of the school were finally gone. I was really confused at who they were talking about so I tried to jump in and ask about who they were talking about. The guys slowly let me into the small circle and started to whisper about you, Hinata and a tall blonde, Tsukishima. They said that you guys were in a relationship together, which broke the final piece of my heart that was left. They kept talking about you, however my mind tuned them out as I was trying my best not to cry. I walked away from them silently waving goodbye and trying to keep my tears at bay. However it didn’t seem to work. I could feel a drop on my hand as I felt my legs throw themselves in front of each other. I realized after I got there that my legs unconsciously took me to the spot where you, “Hinata” the orange boy and I first met.

“Met? You mean when you first saw him.”

“Oikawa stop interrupting Kageyama. Continue again.”

Okay, so the spot where I first saw the orange boy was where my feet had landed me, my tears were pouring out at this point and I crocheted down to my knees as the crying worsened. Soon enough I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was like a small tap, I didn’t want to turn my head so I slowly opened my mouth and tried to speak. Nothing would come out, but sobs. Then suddenly a guy spoke in a low voice and hugged my back, it took me a few seconds to realize what the man said. When I finally realized those words I turned my head into the crease of his neck and hugged him back. I could hear teardrops start to fall on the back of my jacket, he was crying too. We cried together for a while before I pushed him a bit to see his face. Tsukishima, was all my mind could register. This man, this guy was Tsukishima and he just said, “Is it okay if I cry with you too? I lost the one person I loved.” The blonde guy with glasses started to get blurry and I looked towards the ground to see that I was crying again, but why was I crying. I never knew that I would cry this hard for so long just because of you, a stupid boy crush. Great now I’m starting to tear up again, which I promised not to do before we left. I’m sorry. 

….

….

“Well… what happened after that?” Oikawa tried to say in between Kageyama's sobs.

Sorry just give me a second.

….

Just let me wipe my cheeks real quick. So after I realized he was Tsukishima I couldn’t stop my tears and he pulled me back into a tighter hug. My thoughts were going crazy, are you still alive, what happened to you, will I never be able to confess. I can never hold your hand. I can never kiss you, however one thought stayed in my mind completely still. Maybe, just maybe if I tasted his lips I could still be able to taste what you would have tasted like. After a couple seconds of thinking that I pushed Tsukishima in the shoulders and pulled his face close to mine before kissing him. I tried to drown myself in that kiss until Tsukishima pushed away from me with regret in his eyes. Before completely running away and I just stayed there on my knees touching my lips. Thinking, woah you probably tasted like strawberry.

“Thats fucked up Kageyama.”

“I agree with Iwa-chan, that's pretty devious of you.”

“Aren’t you dating Tsukishima right now?”

Yeah, I am…. I know it's kinda creepy and super fucked, however whenever he hugs me I swear I can still smell Hinata and that makes me hesitant in breaking up with him, everytime. Sometimes I stay up at night in Tsukishima's bed thinking about the times Hinata was laying in this same bed.

“Kageyama…. This is crazy you have to break up with him, it just isn’t right leading someone on.”

I just wanna keep tasting his strawberry lips cause they taste like Hinata so much, I wanna experience why Hinata loved this blonde boy. I wanna fall in love with someone that he loved, I just can’t let him go no matter what I do.

“Tobio-chan I-.” Iwaizumi squeezes Oikawa's hand and shakes his head as they both stare at Kageyama who had tears in his eyes. He was looking down at the small grave while putting down bright orange tulips on the grave.

I...i.. I just wanted to be the man next to you, but I never got the chance to be. I’m so sorry for stealing someone you loved. I just wanted you. Please forgive me… ple-ase.

I just...

miss you,

my stupid boy crush

**Author's Note:**

> I have been thinking about the rest of the story, but I'm not sure if this is even a good story. So if you guys like it and think I should continue it please tell me, also have a great day and drink some water :)


End file.
